Wednesday, March 14, 2018

The year and my new life

                                                        : New year 2018:
It all started from a year ago, 22 April 2017, the beginning of all these stories,I have not written for a while because I am busy with new jobs and taking care of the child, he turns 12 years old and begins to mature, I must be more careful and give more attention.
     It's been nearly a year since I stopped to write, while analyzing my personal life and a friend who is very close to me,,All is still the same, here I can learn more from life around, from the drama of life, honesty, sincerity, lies, manipulation, all I learned, all that there is also I feel and I experienced behind the events that hit one of my close friends.
    This is a lesson that does not enter the classroom, Call it my friend's initials (K) a widow has a daughter that she got from her first deceased husband, she's a good mother and wife, a good friend, yeah even though she has a dark past, but I know everyone is born with the times, and maybe it's one of our way of life as a human being.
  Beginning on April 22, 2017, I remember the incident, when I invited three of my work colleagues just to discuss meeting about work and we did my house to be more comfortable, my office companions consisted of two men and two women, and K this is not one of them, I call him my house just to help me prepare a meal for my office friends.And that day we got together, I introduced this K to my office friends, we chatted on the sidelines discussing our office work, even after we had finished go to a karaoke club, short story, two days after that, my friend the K came back to my house and tell me that shocked me,
     He told me one of my office friends, his initials (R) contacted him and asked him out for a date, the R was one of my boyfriends at the office, and I did not at all think he could call K, and I never gave a phone no. the K,,, but ahhh I think it's fair  ,, if the R is interested in the K, because the K is fairly beautiful and good women, Their story is a relationship, and I hear they are seriosa and this guy wants to get married quickly, because he thinks he is embarrassed by the neighbors around, with the presence of the R who almost every night to stay at his house while they are not married, And short story of them held a marriage (siri) that I know can only be done by a Muslim,
    I understand the situation in this, because as a single woman and there is a man we think is good, getting married is the best way, why not, but I had time to ask and advise as a friend,
  K are you sure you want to marry him,he said yes, while I know that R is a Catholic and a Muslim, and I'm sure this R family will not approve of their relationship, but K does not respond to what I'm talking about, unbeknownst to me I finally heard that they married , even from the time they married I've rarely seen R working again in my place,
   I often see them together, I am happy to see their togetherness and I could say to K, maybe he is the last guy for you I see you are happy, I am grateful, but after some last boss K came to my house and told me otherwise.
She told me about all her husband's behavior that I had seen so far, he was a selfish, jealous man and sometimes his jealousy did not make sense, like, this K hides another man in the bed room, at home, and I think it's impossible, because I know that she  house is not that big and it is very difficult to hide others in the house,of all the stories told, I am a fool even feels weird and as if there is something deliberately made-up by her husband, as if he hide something or want something, and need to know the R is staying and settled in the house of the K, which she get from the deceased her first husband,
   it turns out what I had been thinking was true, the R is a very clever man and with his age almost 11 years away the same K , he is a single man but not yet officially divorced his first wife, and he leave just like that wife and her child, and he lived temporarily at her mother's house, and by the time she met the K, his thought this K was an innocent woman who had just lost her husband and surely she had money, home, because I knew her ex husband K is a Big boss,
   Let's discuss about the life of k, why I prefer to tell her life, because I as a friend and as a human being was amazed with the fortitude and goodness he has been,
clear here sir a clever man, a liar and we do not know what he means, he's always been looking for alsan menceburui the k, think of this K is a cheap woman, and bis whenever K go to cheat with other men, even the behavior of the R is not hesitate to curse the K in front of people because alsan the K flirty with other men, ahhh I know the K is indeed an attractive woman even without having to dress up,,,,
  but what I know is that she is a woman who respects her husband and all her alleged accusations are not true at all, her husband always begins a distracted encounter with unreasonable excuses, and after investigation,  cheating husband pretends to go every day looking for work but it turns out just to meet other women, and more to my surprise, the lady said she was her old boyfriend they had been in a relationship for about 10 years, hmmmm
 anyway I become more interested in the story of the k, and in the end I want to help her by following her husband and until I can meet and speak directly with the woman's husband's affair,
   I managed to talk a lot with the woman, who apparently the woman is much older than the k, but maybe a rich woman, and finally we told a lot about the R ,, and she said, she still loves the R and they have a relationship for 10 years, and more to my surprise again, all this time in knowing the R who had an affair with the K of him, while while the R is in a difficult life situation this woman initials C.she who helped all the nations and needs of this R , and apparently this woman is also a victim of love lies from the R,
   and the c know that the R is married to the k, what makes me surprised, there are still women today can make sacrifices have been fooled, and still love him, okay in this problem maybe I do not understand, and more strange again this C asking to tell R to tell them about their relationship to K, and C asks that R is allowed to connect with him further, I said it's something crazy,,, will continue this story tomorrow morning because today I have little to do ,, the lesson of all this I take is we can not trust anyone including girlfriend, husband and hypocritical humans who as if they appear to help but actually just become a virus in our life, this story is still long i will write again tomorrow, have nice blessed time my lovely all friend

Saturday, February 18, 2017

The Past

                                                "Tied the past"
        "If I love my future, I must be able to forget the past, he has gone, the future is more important!!
  " Always imagined and remembered all the things that happened in the past, sometimes saddening and emotion, endless located in regret!!
But now I understand, that life had to happen, it must take place,past grief I think of as the history that gave me strength, this is not easy, need to struggle,,,,,,,,,
     "I do not intend to eliminate it from my soul, I just want to remember it as an experience and teaching in life, shades that makes me feel worth while, the more difficult my past, the more I realized that I was strong, because it can survive until today, Thank God!!
      When I'm alone, I just close my eyes, I saw myself smile, so peaceful it, hopefully my little self, and she was inside me, accept what he wants to receive,
"HI,my little self remain calm, peaceful you inside me, I've won, I've won!"The future must be beautiful! I will always take care of you, protect you, thank you has endured for me, now that I've calmed down,accept it with sincerity for the happiness of future ahead of me!
           "Dear God thank you"
"The question,, who brought you to this day?
each person is responsible for himself, but I realize that there is adeep sense of love, there is a great yearning, God the creator wants me much larger than I love myself!!
I want life more wonderful, allow me to be in God wanted to make me happy, happiness is only a gift, the result of longing, I feel obliged to feel myself I value today than in the past, I will no longer change the status that God loves me, beyond human ever loved me,I reiterate to myself most inside, no matter who touches me,because I know who I am, I was personally desired by this life,yeah, although sometimes the past is shattered the peace of my soul~~~~
"Hi past often I can not let you go, for some reason, so unwilling, Ilike fooling myself,, happy,, pretend as if my past was fine, the chest is never relieved, there are concerns, something was wrong, do not want to cheat myself,, I was not happy,,, and i want to know how it feels!!what I consider to be happy during this turned out to be only a pleasure, for what I live, all these questions arise once the series come to haunt my soul,~~~~~~
            "Questions that were never answered, and for what must also be no question of this, the more I myself do not understand,, when I see other people's lives are so happy, Is it true that the real happiness?or they are also experiencing the same thing with what I feel, If you could choose, I want to be good in the family, a complete family,has a perfect parent~~~~
  When I see other people who I think is luckier I feel step daughter's life, why I should be there, I want to feel needed, admittedly, more than that I want to feel useful, who but I? Is it true that there are people who really need presence, Maybe it ynag could make meas though tough to face life, feeling tired when life for myself, and the purpose of life for what? why this void gone over? what should really I do so that there is only peace heart? God please answer,, know you created me for a purpose, but what ??
~~~screams regret is never over, when I was just immersed in the past, sometimes I really hope someone answer this question, wish he said that I was important to him, but this was silly, weird,what is this really my happiness, even when I write this blog, I feel do not know what really I want, this is the real me, it's better this way than to pretend happy, Hi all my friends who read every I writing, do you ever feel really happy? can you help? Do you ever feel the emptiness of what I'm feeling? snare of endless,, and I would be glad if you answer, ever felt, and it was enough to console me, that I am not alone in this void, so I did not really feel the most suffer!!!!!!
    but whether it is necessary to be happy? or I've fooled the influence of a lot of people that life is to be happy,,, allow me to live without you happy? so I was more receptive and no longer question my unhappiness this as a problem,,

         "Maybe this is the answer"
I want to remain calm in unhappiness, happiness is there If indeed I do not deserve it,,,, OK,, I will enjoy this lack of decent me<<<<
but honestly I would be more comfortable if true happiness is to bethere, this is very soothing my soul, not too demanding self because it should be there, but not the pursuit of happiness that just makes my soul feel more worse, more shouting demanding happiness, I decided myself for not too confusing yourself about happiness, yet I could still alive today~~~~~~~~~~See you in another answer,,,,
 have awesome weekend and blessed day,,,,,,