The question??

The weekend is near again, do not feel week, month change in 2012.
 So many events also last for 3 months, and so many questions still no answers,called the stage of life, full of drama and very little honesty ranging from love stories, stories of friendship, from the real world to cyberspace, ahhhhh because I live between two worlds..sometimes of two worlds that could inspire me to write in this blog.but today I want to write and ask, because I have a little problem that makes me uncomfortable.question, which is sometimes difficult to find an answer, when we blame, hate, in slander, with no apparent reason what our mistakes against them, and I'm just still waiting for that will indicate where lies the fault, they finally realized that it was not my fault.and they say sorry, and yes before I forgive them, but once they leave my heart still feels pain, feels hatred is coming back, the hatred that emerged from the confusion with what was my fault to make them hate me, while I was not ever do anything wrong,confusion that could make my life a mess, even I could blame someone she really protect me, I ignore what he says, I force him to confess something he had never done,I scold him without thinking about how I was hurt his, I forced him to leave me after I defend ,
Omg how stupid I was just defending a friend who finally throw dirt on my face,ed a friend, 
    Hatred after forgiving. These are now appearing in my heart,The question, am I wrong if I forgive him a friend who has hated me without reason, but my heart is very closed to just met her?,,,it wrong if I still hold a grudge that upset until I cried when I slandered, hated for no reason, until she was away from my children,I know it's all over, three days ago when he came and apologized, but it still makes me nervous because of the hatred that is now coming after excuse, after she knew who was at fault and she blamed me for no apparent reason,,  ( The big question )
Why people are so easy to hate and blame others for what they are looking for without guilt?
 Why do not they ever think what will happen from all the hatred that evoked from a slander.?
 Why do they never get to feel what others feel when you hurt without knowing what their mistakes, why you are much older age, which should be more mature but more narrow minded than the buffalo??
Why are you so comfortable when you see other people suffer because of your doing?
  Why you can forget the friendship that you consider to be brothers, just because you do not slander a man who knew well??
  Oh God I know, I'm not a good race, I did not even know how to pray, but I'm sure you do not close your eyes when you see a human man who seemed so devout worship thee, but they are so comfortable if they hurt a fellow human,,I just hope all this anxiety will pass quickly because I did not feel comfortable with liver disease called hate!!!!!!!I just want feel very sorry for somebody who i was blame him for stupid reason,, and let we just quiet and see what will hapend in next, ~~~

Humans are weird around me

Hello hello all to anyone who reads my blog, hopefully in good shape, healthy and happy.
 I want to write here what I experienced today and last week, in a state I still have a healthy, heavy flue, and now my right eye a little red, I do not know why, but then if i have some more money I definitely want to check the doctor eye, not as usual this morning, my daughter she's the least of the show go on a picnic to jakarta, so this morning I drove she to school,when I was a little worried because she was unwell,but I just leave her as a teacher, and I believe they must look at her, and this morning even though my body feels heavy and painful illness, I was forced to join aerobics class, I forced sweating in hopes of feeling better,after the aerobics classes, yoga, done as usual my friend invited me gather just drink with a cup of tea, honestly I never wanted to go join  when they gathered togethers, such as a peer friends,because I often experienced, when we make friends and hang too often end up carrying the effect is not good, because they were talking about was not about knowledge, or useful, but I know they got together while showing off what they have, what they've bought her husband,until at last they talked bad about each other with a bad word to each other, Well, that's what I always tried to avoid from the association, among neighbors, friends, (because I do not have anything that could be a topic of conversation with them), so I'd rather hang out, talk with people that I meet the virtual world,I rarely see anything more come together, talk with them and I'm sure they know it, who I am, I do not care what you guys want to talk about me, the most important for me, I make friends never hurt anyone else, yes I'm not much of a friend , but I do not think it matters much if they were just friends and not be detrimental to mature in thinking,honesty among all the friends I was, maybe I'm the youngest in age, but I feel the most mature among them, because as I talk about in my blog yesterday, I was precocious, I live on the streets,I had joining drinking the tea with them meybe just 10 minute, but after that I went home and take care of the housework, suddenly someone came home to me, which I see she came up with angry faces,and I do not feel afraid, or surprised, because I do not feel bad with people around me, which as I explained earlier, I met them only in the fitness club,With a loud voice, she began to ask, but the question did not enter the brain me, she asked this, (Jass why are you talking about me personally as our friends, I hate that you've spread the word) well I let her tell it all, explaining what made her so mad at me,Ahhhh Finally, I just smile and I'm not angry, I'm in defamation by a friend who now has to go to london she going with her husband,hahahaha I just want to laugh and throw up, look at human behavior that you told me to call it a friend, that you said she was a lady, I'm not much talking about what each of my friends who came home, I just say this, (I think you are more mature than the me, because I know how old you are very much different from me, you know I was 5 years old and you know who you are calling her new friend a year, why would you trust more than you trust me, you and your friends are not more stupid of the buffalo)I am tired with a human man who looked like respectable human beings, but they are not clever at concealing rottenness which they store in the heart, I told you I was living alone is quite tiring why should I interfere with the personal affairs of others, and I'm not the kind of woman who likes to make friends 100 humans a fool, I'd rather have a friend a smart human,and I make friends is not important, or even neighbors, to be honest during the 2 years I've lived this environment, I do not know who the neighbors a lot for me, I just live in my own life, which is still widely something I still can not take care of, so for me the day the story this and this incident, I made ​​a new experience, when I'm not friends they can still find the subject to destroy me,~~~~ Buffalo~~~~~

Beginning of a grueling week

Earlier this week was very tiring, tired of endless work, tired of all thoughts about life
.Of weeks ago, the problem is still not finished, make me stress, until I was sick, my daughter is a little too unwell, perhaps because the weather is not so good in this month, heavy flue gee,, stress, since the first document I think it over complicated it, ahhhh this God is life, sometimes people will feel they are being hardest hit when his was just as if I was in trouble the most was suffering,but if we can open our inner eye and see there is still much more difficult human life, I still try anything to get their legal documents,sometimes I'm confused who is to blame with all that I feel now, to get the legal documents I had difficulty, until yesterday I heard from a lawyer I am, I have to go trial,, mmmm why complicate the government here, God knows how much money has been I spend to pay for the documents and now they still ask,I tried to calm down and think about the best way, in fact all of the blame lies with my ex-husband, and my ignorance is too trusting him, I do not know what else I should do, while he was still happy with their new families, but I do not care about all that,now the most important thing I should do I have to take care of all the documents as quickly as possible, I and my two daughters, dream a dream for me to find a man again, ahhhh whoa, because I know they can never help me,, so all I have to do itself,

all just nonsense,Oh this flue,, still not recovered as well,,, great suffering, body ache, headache, fever,,, get well well,,,,,my little girl she also unwell, we do not want to get out of bed, but this morning I tried sports, but instead was getting worse,,, so I can not continue my work,:( :(

Last weekend

The weekend is over, 
As weeks weeks ago, last weekend I used to live alone, there is nothing fun or make me excited, I spent time with my two daughters, road trip to the mall, spending a little food and play games, that's all that can make me smile, if you see my two daughters happy, that's enough for me.and that's my goal now, to make the girls smile, whatever will I do for them, I will not let an unscrupulous man to hurt humans,such as those who continued to try to hurt me,as I tell from my writing yesterday, I do not care about what and how you tried to hurt me, I'm here just to smile, maybe I cried, but only two, three days, but you will pay with tears in your life.yesterday I still keep asking myself, even I asked many friends, from friends who jerk, until a friend who I respect, about me, and I got the same answer.first but later, when I ask, I'm not there I'm the best position, and they know all the stories that I ask it right, you know what the answer from them, said my friend the jerk (Jass, just give them to fuck off, and away from you face u need no friend like that),, from a friend who I respect and I know they're good, smart, (give them time, one day they will realize that you are innocent, but if they continue to blame you and ignore you, they it's a loser),, ahhh I finally get all the answers from my question for this, honestly I feel guilty,,having been taught, bring a friend who is innocent, to a depraved man, who I once thought he was a good old man, because it was old enough to act more mature,But you see, life can not guarantee that a person can mature,, as I tell you, I was born of an old couple that I did not know they are, I grew up on the streets, but there I learned more, how do I deal with life the cruel,many of my friends talked me precocious,but here in fact if you feel like a smart man, and who like you are always proud of, that you were born into a family that taught many good things, a school in college, your life is an established, well-educated, why you can not tell which right and wrong, why do you feel comfortable with the selfish, arrogant, boastful, and never back down, satisfied to see someone else caused you to cry, 
living in a dream, but I'm sure everyone would know what went wrong and what is true, but most of the men were embarrassed when his opinion was wrong, and always feel that I am the best, most correct me, (I'm going to throw up view it)uh,, here I do not write or express what man that I mean, I never felt accuse or condemn other people, because for me every time I want to act or speak, I'm trying to think if this could hurt them, because I know that other people I'm definitely going to talk bad to feel offended, so for us whose hearts are still not aware that his life is always suffering from it because, of action and how to conduct themselves..but for those who has a narrow mind, will always be busy blaming other people with the failure of his life, not busy improving its own behavior,,Good luck and keep going,hehehe
        Jasmine