Two day

                                          "How do I feel this for two days"

 It has been almost a week,, I'm really busy, until I forget that medicine should I always eat, since I was diagnosed there are abnormalities in my white blood , actually I was already feeling the symptoms, but I do not want to spoil myself because of illness this is how, when compared to many other people whose illness is more severe,
 But since last night, so I was surprised to wake up, vision was blurred, not clear, until I stumbled in the bathroom,, ahhh I think maybe because I just got up, but when I want to take my daughter to school he told me, Mom's You eyes was red,, mmm I try to reflect and yes,, mmmmm this happens again because of my busy, but tomorrow I start again at home resting and trying to refresh and go check up again,
 but I'm sure, that I shall be healed, and I will continue my struggle, because my targets are still far, I do not worry, i still same here, maybe just me less, online at the computer, but I'm starting to have a new hobby is writing, the incident -events in the past I've been there, and it's a life experience that I think should be shared with others, and for those who understand, it's a smart,I do not write, about how I, who am I, but there, as a life experience is the teacher's most expensive and more valuable than anything,
You know, up to six months, I still do not know what I want in life, has been my life's too easy to make me fall asleep without realizing it, the way I'm going through is always wrong, but now regrets it does not mean, now I trying to improve themselves and find exactly what I want and I'm looking for in life, turned out after I met an old friend, he's from Vietnam, but he's a mixture of china taiwan,, he is very spiritual, in the not so long ago we met, I can be many things, which I've been looking for and always ask,,
  He just said this, "so it is important we have people well, forgiving, and humble, because what we can today, it's all what we did yesterday, and yess I agree," And we believe that God will not be able to change the fate of anyone, except himself, the Lord just gave up the road and we want to choose the way in which,
And what He was talking about was true, everyone is judged by how they talk, how to talk to someone because it will show who he is, do not use speech that people either do not interest you, because language is a distinctive class, someone who is smart they will not be much talk, talk a little but meaningful, If we want a classy and soul mate, speak better, that's what my friends are talking about, and I understand,
 I started to have a new hobby, write and read books that contain spiritual meaning, and all of the good life, I was hoping I could learn how to become a better person and be useful for those in need, my prayers tonight, thank God for all the blessings you give, and I still do not realize it, how I became a very lucky man today, yesterday and in my past, the bad old days it was a very valuable lesson for me today, God I hope I was up to the target during this I dreamed of and do not you let my struggle in vain, because you know my intentions just want to see my two daughters a better life, and I'm sure I could, because there you are always there,
      Lord, if you still have one my soul mate, Give me the option you chose and I'm sure it's the best for me, but if you think it's not good, get rid of him without a trace in my life, because I do not want to be bad,and hurt him,But if you did not save my soul mate, and I have to stay like this, for God's sake I was willing and smiled, Thank God, because you have take all my  feelings, resentment, hatred in the heart of this, but sometimes I'm confused, why I seemed to lose emotion, while the most important emotion for humans, why I do not feel it anymore, even to cry because of jealousy and hurt I never feel again, but let it be I'm sure god had other plans and it's best for us ~ ~ ~ ~

This weekend

                                               "THIS WEEKEND "
 This weekend things went very differently, my days are filled with all the bustle, as the mother of two daughters, also with a bit of physical work, but seized my mind, until the time to enjoy, I myself have forgotten, I chased the target in order to this years the years to come, I leave aside, I think the problem is not so useful,
Even for a loving relationship, for goodness' sake, not an iota in the heart of this passion to establish a relationship again, after what I feel in the past, I myself do not understand why? all the feelings go away, arguably the heart of this  frozen, for fear of getting hurt again, so this week, And perhaps days, months, years to come, I will stay the same, a Jasmine, who themselves enjoy the solitude, , I was unconscious, it is believed, that a man does not become waranti will give happiness,, and I decided to live alone, but did not set out may be one day, the apparent change, like I said, time will change everything, but for now I'm more focused with what to target and my dream, my life just to see my two daughters a better life, I got to know a man, and he was very nice, caring, and loved me, but I'm sorry for such a I told you, now, I own no understand, I still do not believe, that a man can be happy I am, and I believe, there you will get someone better than me, I am very grateful to all the time which he has always provided for me, but my life choices, I will remain alone,
I honestly say, in this little heart still kept all the resentment against him, and I'm scared, I want to hurt the feelings of him who did not shed innocent, so than I always make the problem continues because of the encouragement and reward resentment, I shed a person who wrong, I'd rather own without a lover it would be better for me, you'll continue to see me like this, and who knows how long, because I've killed off a feeling of love towards a man,,,
  I am an ordinary person who missed the presence of someone who makes me smile, but somehow, smile for the love, lost, sad indeed, but this fact, let the god who knows everything, he who gives us love, and she also eliminate , but I'm sure all that was best for me, because I believe the decision is given god is always the best,
 very sad, but it's been quite a while this feeling die, ten years ago, all started from the wrong people I love,,, is not I do not ever try to love again, but once I realized that I actually closed the door as if the heart is death, which I would expect that there may he get someone better than me, I'm sure god had a good plan if we had good intentions, sadness, loneliness, lonely, has become part of my life, since ten years ago, but I enjoy it , because it is a blessing that others can not feel what I feel,!!!
 Hopefully today will be better than yesterday ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ and all of them, with a disease that I suffered, and I'm afraid my time soon, I just want to see my two daughters a better life, with no time wasted I will still remain stand here even with a lame leg,,,