Suffering without end :(

I dreamed of marriage, was not what I feel, at the age of 3 years of my marriage, I often feel pain in my abdomen that can sometimes make me pass out, then my husband's behavior has not changed he just comes and goes, when I asked him to bring me months honey out of the country he just told me to go with the company of my friends who would all cost he paid, I went to singapore, continue tour to Africa, what kind of honey buloan, haaa, well I think my husband is too busy with his business, we quite enjoyed the tour , although I can not dispel my loneliness, I returned to Jakarta after 2 weeks of the tour, but the pain in my stomach feels increasingly disturbing and finally felt I went to a gynecologist, and the result was very surprising for me, I have cancer of the uterus that is not easy for me to have a child, oh god what trials you give, after I went through a marriage that I do not understand, my family also continues to undermine the life, now I have a disease that is difficult for me to have a child.I could tell my husband about the disease, and it turns out I saw the disappointment, but the doctor said we can still do IVF, and we finally agreed to do that, in the second month I finally managed to conceive of the seed of my husband, I keep, care my baby well , but when it's also my husband's increasingly rare to come home I'm just in the company of two maids who deliberately in order as my husband, and when I needed my husband he never existed, and I never knew he was every time I call he always said I busy you must learn to take care of yourself, even though the hurt I remain silent and helpless, in the 9th month of pregnancy who lived a few days I gave birth, I had news of my husband's friend that my husband's accident and now he is in china, ahhh of course I can not go to see him, in a state of pregnancy is about to give birth, on 12 May 2006 I finally gave birth to a daughter who is very pretty,but the birth of my daughter did not make my husband happy after he returned from China, after he recovered from an accident that happened there, when I want to arrange a letter on the birth of my baby, of course I need a marriage license and my husband's signature, but I do not have all that, and my husband said let me say that will take care of it, and after a few days I finally received a legal letter my daughter, but that makes me wonder why no one there was just reading my husband's name, my daughter is a child out of wedlock, and then I asked my husband and he give me an explanation that our daughter was born of the marriage two countries and different religions, so he can not sign as a father, ahhh I just shut up and I try to forget all that is important I can give birth to a daughter,,,well i forget,, i have adopt a daughter she was 12 year that time,,she like my own daughter,and after i born my daughter, i need get surgery for take my cancer, but i will never have children in future,i was so upset, when i get that new from doctor, but i need do it before i dead,i get surgery in singapore without my husband,,, i just want life for my daughter,,so i do it,