Weekends are hard for me, of the new year 2012, everything is not back to normal, what else after I lost my job, but I try to smile salts for their two daughters, tucked beneath my heart, tired of living this life, despair, I shall continue standing upright with the confidence I need to survive, it's almost three weeks also I still have not finished renovating the house uhggg makes me annoyed, because the length of time they work with me I automatically pay more, while for now I should be able to save money, before I get a new job , or I go back to work in the same place at the company after the crisis ended, the demonstration of workers could still walk, they demanded their pay rise, making the road block, uhhh I do not like to live here, so this Sunday I'm stuck at home, can not drink regular coffee place I always spend my week days only to get rid of boredom, two-day yesterday until last night I only slept after crying all night, I cried again, do not know why the night of the week I felt my heart sad, lonely, empty , which I do I lock myself in my room and cry, I feel my life is useless, I'm desperate, I could not become a wife, a lover, even the salts become a mother of two daughters, Oh god I think I'm going to leave it all if I did not see I still have kids that they still need me,,I was still not as strong as I imagine, that I always tell my friends or my boyfriend front, I'm just a weak woman's fragile and wounded, out of love, the life that I feel so cruel, do not let me be happy as they are, Lord if I could play time, I did not choose to be born and become a Jasmine, but I know time can not be played back and I can not live in the past, Lucky I met him a man who began to enter the life he's a changed sense of hatred, revenge on slowly lost men, but sometimes we also often misunderstood, but I understand because of differences in language and a lot, I try to understand it when he gets angry, or he did not like my attitude that sometimes I can not control my emotions, well I hope he can also understand now I am currently in a period of very heavy, and I do not want to involve him in my problem, whenever possible I hide a sense of woe, though sometimes I could cry ahead of him, I do not want sick, injured again with a man,
I just wish the Lord whether I'm too humble to request and expect little happiness as those who have a spouse, if I do not deserve to be loved, Was I so low,,, it is a question,,,
ahhhh still very heavy this week hopefully tomorrow I will be better,,, , I apologize on with my lover often made him angry, annoyed, but I did not mean it
Jasmine
