The connection of this week's story

I felt like I was no longer able to with stand all loads that had I keep it to my self without daring to tell whoever, but I write my life story here I will feel a little relieved, First I apologize to all my friends, my two daughters, especially to my boyfriend who I know he loves me with all his heart,
   And therefore I can not afford to lose him, I did not want to make him upset, I do not want to hurt him, I tell you honestly if I was who I'm, but this morning I reinforced my determination to write this, I'm resigned to if after he read this he will leave me , even though I honestly can not afford to lose.
   This morning the weather is a bit dim black cloud, rain, and wind is very strong, felt more pain in my heart, as if nature were weeping with my lack of luck, my ex-husband about why he stopped sending us money, because I asked him two days ago we have meet and talked and I asked that he let go of me completely, and I will no longer receive any gift,,,, Oh I forgot to tell you how my relationship with my ex-husband, once after I decided to part with him, because I could not be reasoned second wife,I think the first part of my life will be free, to choose my future path is free to choose who is going to be my husband, but it turns out all wrong, he's not that easy to let me go, he always follow where the same whom I became friends, even know who he would seek the my boyfriend, of course he still support  us finances because we have children,
But because the money that I was caught like a helpless, he seemed to control my life, I like his mistress for five years, but since I did not allow him to touch my body I just give him time to meet with my daughter, And to be honest I still need financial support from him , because my income can not provide for us what my daughter an expensive school, which I think now it's just how I should be happy both my daughter, and I'm willing pawn for the sake of their happiness, my life in prison like I have to bear the pain, jealousy, when I see how happy my ex-husband lives with his family, two days ago we talked and I begged that he left me totally, because once he had said he would not leave me before he saw I had a new husband who can look after and care for my daughter,ready not ready I have to brave step for my future, I have to get up for my daughter, when I realized just who they are I have, I talk to my ex-husband I already have a boyfriends who will love us, a case his own family , even though I own not yet convinced by all of this decision but I have to go from total life without a penny of money I received from him, but it turns out he made me lose my job too, because the boss where I work is his friend, Oh god it turns out he wanted to see how I could live without I hung with him even though his work place, but I let him do what he could to make him happy to see us hard,~~~~~~~~~ i will posting picture my 2 daughter...and this story not end yet,,,,,

The third week is pathetic in 2012

Good morning all, been a while I did not write for a little busy with all the routines, I'll try to write again today on the sidelines of the time while keeping my daughter who looks like he is less so healthy, probably because of the weather,
    This morning, unlike the usual early morning I went through I woke up late until I had to quickly prepare my child for all purposes of the school who happened to go in the morning, so we woke up late this morning because the night I was with, my children most of her names lucy, we are talking length about how we continue to live without having to rely on others, It's been nearly a week of not sleeping soundly this may be due to stress, and many things to be I think especially for the future of my two daughters, actually I do not want to tell you all these troubles, forgive I am not my boyfriend I do not want to be honest, and not I do not believe it, but I do not want to make you worried, and add to the burden of your mind there, but okay I'll tell you all here and I'm sure you understand Already a week  ago I lost my job, because the company where I work got a very severe financial crisis, that day I was devastated, because I count on all of it's finances and former my ex husband stopped sending us money for my child's school fees, Stress, I feel down, it turns out I was not as strong as this, it seems I want to cry as hard as strong, but I was resistant because I did not want my child,,but ultimately I can not stand too, I shut myself in my room and cry, I play music as loud as possible just to cover the sound of my tears, but what I can, after crying,,, I can not answer from this burden, I approached my two daughters , I hug them close and whisper them, (we must be able to live a very cruel is that we are always together) and more importantly the first in my life I felt a calm in the turmoil when I hugged my two daughters, although my heart screaming crying, Lord do not until both my daughter feel what I feel,
Apparently in the new year does not fit as I expect all turned 180 derajat.But I should not be dissolved in grief, I had to get up and think this should be how to determine the path for the sake of my two daughters, let me ignore my personal, which has been so long I do not care , a sense of loneliness a woman, yes I can not fool myself, but after seeing both my daughter smile I am willing to live in loneliness,To my beloved is not there I'm sorry I did not want to tell the truth or not believe, but I'm afraid with all my problems, will make you worry.And I was never told about all my personal problems with my parents own though, I just need time to wake up and stand up straight, smile for the sake of my daughter.And for my two daughters I apologize because I used to regard them only burden in life was when I dropped .but see that I have only them, and those who can make me live until today, when I'm lonely just those who can cheer me up, so they love actually means that I sought was in fact their family,~~~~Jasmine/Lucy/greclle,,,