story my life

good morning everyone, I'm from Indonesia hemisphere, my name Jasmine Than,, the name jasmine fragrant small flowers, white, but my name was not like jasmine,, my very personal life was far different fate with jasmine flowers, I'm a single mom, with 2 girls, most of her 19 years, and studying at university obstetrics, a small elementary school entry this year, most major my child it myself but I'm not child adoption since she was 4 years old, but I love her  like my own child , my life pretty difficult, but we can survive with a welcoming smile and the next day with renewed hope, yes I was married, for 5 years, but during the 5 years that I lived like in prison, I can not smile, not free to do what I want, and in year 6, the end all was revealed, my husband has a wife and 2 children, then I can only say, O LORD, is whether the answer during this time he made ​​me bow make me like living doll, I'm not helpless, even for I do not have the courage to speak, because I already have child from our drama marriage,since that time, i close my heart door for all man, who just can use me for object ,    embedded in my heart only hatred, revenge, because I thought all men were equal, they just take advantage, for their own interests, even his life completing his sex life,but this last year i have fell diffrent in my heart,when i meet somebody, yeah he just online guy, who i know him in website chatting paltalk,but i know his it real,i can feel what it called LOVE,     after all this time I feel lonely, cold in this heart, but once I met him I felt my life again, although this is only the imagine,   I hope, God Bless this love, and give me a new path in this new year, I know he's far away, in parts of the world that I had never stepped on, the sounds  are funny, fall in love online, but believe it or not it up, I felt a sense of how beautiful it is, ,yesssssss I LOVE him, when this just dream,, but this to amazing for i awake, i will never force anyone to love me,i can give my love life, without i take something from them,merry xmas,, my lover wish all the best there with u, my (Adrians)i to shy writing his name, coz i not want make his, shy,dohhhhhh,,GOD help me,