The new year, 2017, I arrived in this year, although it has too many memories in recent years, nearly two years already I live really alone,since the death of my husband, I am increasingly aware of this life requires someone or maybe I do not need anybody else, but as a human being I still can not control emotions, desires that I consider it humane!! Here I just want to put my feelings sometimes I feel tired of life, which is where I feel alive without hope,I never felt what it was the sense of depression, feeling of injustice this life, when we needed a father, husband, life partner for me, but life grabbed by force,I feel concern about the future of my children, worries about me getting older!!
but day by day, month, year gave way, all those feelings slowly began to change with positiv thoughts, I began to learn to take lessons from all that happened,,,Maybe I began to understand the meaning of a loss, the meaning of life, even though I involuntarily in and my children are forced to mature in this life,as once I discussed writing earlier, after I knew God, I felt everything becomes easier, the guidelines of my life just for one day, I was no longer interested to think about the future too long, I could think of was how the morning when I woke I can still see my children happy smiles,,
Thank God that today I can still see them smile, even though sometimes I feel moved, at their age like today need to feel her cruel world, but I believe in my God is too great when compared with all of life's problems,,,OH ,,, I forgot to write something about my personal that maybe you would think it was funny or I was too quick to move on, after the departure of my husband, I've tried several times to establish a relationship but I do not feel confident relationship to work,,,
because I do not feel confident with my feelings, I often ask myself, whether hubungin this happens only because when I feel lonely, needy, or love, but the few times I tried it and the answer (I was in a state of loneliness) that indeed I was not ready to re-establish relations seriose!!
and I realized, those who come and go in life just giving a lesson or a test of my own feelings, that if I'm confident with my feeling at this time or just need them and end up disappointed, feeling guilty at my children, to be honest I often feel a sense of where I was disappointed with myself!!
But now is the time I should be firm, strong for myself and my two daughters, I should be a good example for them, is not easily fooled with his own feelings, more focused with the aim kehud will to carry it,,,,,,,,,,,,NO time play game anymore,, I need proof the life I can standing,I can run and i still strong,after all strom hit my life,
because after the rain there must be a bright << ,, THIS LIFE ANYONE CAN FEEL THE SAME WAY BUT JUST HOW WE CAN SURVIVE OR JUST STUCK ,IN SAME SITUATION!!
