morning with all bad think,bad feel

 confusion, fear, anxiety I have not been written, so woke up this morning, I felt something unusual, I do not know, confused, my eyes, disappointed in themselves no end, sadly, ahhhhh I think there is something that struck me most deeply, the I do not understand, many people say I'm pretty smart, pretty, I can get along with everyone, and I never cared who they were, while they were being nice to me i don't fucking care who you are of them, I do not care how much of their wealth, if they being stupid and not good, I keep them at the bottom my feet.ahhh I finally understand why I woke up this morning with all the strange feelings, sadness, hate, myself, in the name of love, a man who I felt they were just using me , as an object, and they never know, I have this love, my body was shaking, I held back so I will not spill all of my emotions, oh god what happened, and what will happen, this morning, so today I feel hate myself , why can not I say no, why I was powerless, its all like a bad dream that will never end, god gave me the way, send me an angel that could go as far as possible, sometimes I feel like ending my life, I'm jasmine that they I see a strong, but actually I'm just a stupid woman, who is helpless.it's all a sacrifice, not useful, I still just do not waste care as a human being, as a woman worthy of love,you know something what i want do now, and what i want,,,, IF i have alot money what i want dooo,,,, I WANT BUY called MAN<LOVE,like they doit,,,oh GOD stop this shit,, i tiredddddddddddddd,no let me i kill myself, because of this shit,I'm tired of God, to always pretend, I'm tired of being a good person while they can not appreciate kindness, they even used me with all the bulshit, love for me was just a piece of deceit, which can only benefit from each others, to hurt when it was bored,,,,Again!!!!!!!!  SO plase stop u fool me about love,if u not know what it meaning,!! plsssssss i hate it word named LOVE,